Celebrity and the wrath of unfunny comedians

June 30th, 2010

In the past few years celebrity has exploded. Thanks to reality tv we have hundreds of useless idiots clinging onto former fame (Kerry ‘mum of the year’ Katona) or arseholes from the street still gripping to their 5 minutes of fame offered to them by X-Factor or Britains Got Talent. With thanks to this, true celebrities are finding it harder and harder to get a break or the fame they deserve. So much so, once their star has started to fade or fallen from grace, they themselves must whore themselves out to the celebrity reality tv shows. So the cycle continues…

Thankfully the world has trends. Trends which as consumers we just can’t get enough of. I’m not talking (or more realistically, writing) about trends such as fashion or doing the locomotion. I’m on about trends of celebrity. A year ago we had chat show fever. Any tosspot who could read a script and has at least one person who knows them as ‘that person from [insert show here]‘ would have a contract waggled in their face. It was quite funny though how their guests would themselves have a chat show of sorts. You’d have this interview circle. I go to your show, you go to mine. Finding new things to talk about however, that was the tough part. There’s only so many autobiographies titled ‘My Story’ you can churn out.

Anyway. Because we have these trends there are more ways for a guy or gal to find their star and keep it there. We’re now currently on the comedian trend. Be it standup, sitcom, sketch show, panel show, whatever, you can’t go an evening on tv without seeing at least one of these type of shows or an advert for some comedian you’ve never heard of’s DVD.

Now before I really sink my teeth into this, I want to say that there are indeed some amazing new shows and artists emerging from this craze. Mitchell and Webb of Peep Show fame (as just one example) are incredible. Their writing is sharp and deliverance even better, with even their ad-lib going down better than a starving hooker on a chocolate covered dick.

But there is some real, REAL shit stuff out their. Whoever thought of taking the two leading men from Gavin and Stacey (Horne and Corden) and giving them a sketch show should be slapped. Whoever thought of giving them a movie!?!? Well you can just fuck off. Oh, and guess what? James Corden has a world cup chat show now.

Dara Ó Briain. He’s pointless. His standup doesn’t deliver at all. I think you’d get a bigger laugh if he just got on stage and said “I’m fat and Irish and that’s all you’re gonna get!”. As a presenter on Mock the Week it’s excruciating. He’s just not funny. You’ll get a legitimate funny-man make a joke which gets a few laughs. Another will develop the joke further prompting more laughs. Then Dara will ‘try’ and develop it further. And by develop I mean latch onto to it as if to say I’m funny too! Ultimately he kills the joke and they move onto their next scripted ad-lib moment.

The real genius here with Dara Ó Briain is that he knows he’s not funny either! He attempts to crack a joke and straight after goes “Errrrrrgh…” as if prompting the audience to laugh. There’s even a Facebook group dedicated to it! (http://www.facebook.com/pages/the-noise-Dara-OBriain-makes-after-every-joke/109054679138449) I guess it saves the producers money on one of those laughter/applause signs though.

There’s an aspect of transition really and how well you can go from sitcom actor to out and out comedian or panel show to standup etc. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Frankie Boyle was the reason people watched Mock the Week really. His quick fire responses and controversial views made for great watching. Go see his standup however and not only do you already know 75% of the material (like I said earlier, scripted ad-lib) but he just doesn’t seem right. Seemingly out of his depth. It’s a shame really. But oh well. His DVDs out. That was advertised the shit out of during Christmas.

Realistically this all comes down to taste. Taste in the sense that I have it and if you find these obviously shit comedians funny, you don’t!

My mind wonders now what the next big thing is going to be. What’s the next crutch for a little bit more fame than your average reality tv drop out. We’ve already seen the transformation of James Corden from actor to comedian to chat show host come football pundit. But what’s next? WAGs hosting a series on making money? “That’s right love. Get your tits out, get that footballer in you and you’re loaded!”. Or how about a reality tv show about the life of a twenty-something male who works as a chef but knows fame would work out pretty damn good for him. I mean. He could have made a few wiser decisions in life or maybe directed his career choices to the media or journalism. But it would still make for good tv! Watch this space…

What’s the point?

August 26th, 2009

There comes a point when you have to take a step back and really just look at your life. Look at where you’ve come from, where you’ve been and where you’re going. You can look at what you’ve achieved and what you haven’t. How you’ve handled a situation and what opportunities you’ve missed. You can spend a lifetime going over and over again your past mistakes and triumphs. But what’s the point? Why do it?

No-one can ever say they’ve had complete control in their life. The amount of things I regret in my life which I’d always blamed myself for is vast. In reality, the more I think about situations, it’s the third parties; the gossipers; the grapevine wankers who fuck things up.

Time after time I’m having a broken heart; a shattered dream; a blocked ambition because someone else is getting involved. Giving their two cents on a situation they have no right interfering in. I feel sorry for the people who try to help and fail, because I can see how they’ll take this rant personally. But rest assured. This is mainly related to malicious intent.

Sometimes people don’t know the whole damn story. Don’t understand the facts. Don’t realise that people can change. Yes. I shat my pants when I were younger. Does that mean I do it now? …Bad example. But you see what I’m getting at!

Living with regret isn’t living at all. And neither is living in the past. It’s stationary. You aren’t getting anywhere. And you never will. Life is about moving forward. Second chances. Knowing that things will get better if you want them to. The sooner people can start realising this, the sooner control can go back to the person who deserves it. The actual person living their life.

But again. What’s the point? Surely we should atleast feel free enough to live our life how we want. Making decisions based on our own experiences and judgement. Yada yada. Who knows? I just hope that I can start getting a firmer grip on these reins, steer the thing myself and get to where I want to be. ‘Cos what I want isn’t much. It’s just to be happy.