There comes a point when you have to take a step back and really just look at your life. Look at where you’ve come from, where you’ve been and where you’re going. You can look at what you’ve achieved and what you haven’t. How you’ve handled a situation and what opportunities you’ve missed. You can spend a lifetime going over and over again your past mistakes and triumphs. But what’s the point? Why do it?
No-one can ever say they’ve had complete control in their life. The amount of things I regret in my life which I’d always blamed myself for is vast. In reality, the more I think about situations, it’s the third parties; the gossipers; the grapevine wankers who fuck things up.
Time after time I’m having a broken heart; a shattered dream; a blocked ambition because someone else is getting involved. Giving their two cents on a situation they have no right interfering in. I feel sorry for the people who try to help and fail, because I can see how they’ll take this rant personally. But rest assured. This is mainly related to malicious intent.
Sometimes people don’t know the whole damn story. Don’t understand the facts. Don’t realise that people can change. Yes. I shat my pants when I were younger. Does that mean I do it now? …Bad example. But you see what I’m getting at!
Living with regret isn’t living at all. And neither is living in the past. It’s stationary. You aren’t getting anywhere. And you never will. Life is about moving forward. Second chances. Knowing that things will get better if you want them to. The sooner people can start realising this, the sooner control can back to the person who deserves it. The actual person living their life.
But again. What’s the point? Surely we should atleast feel free enough to live our life how we want. Making decisions based on our own experiences and judgement. Yada yada. Who knows? I just hope that I can start getting a firmer grip on these reins, steer the thing myself and get to where I want to be. ‘Cos what i want isn’t much. It’s just to be happy.